Yet Another Satirical Game

One of my ideas that I also personally like a lot is Spitzbube. Spitzbube is a german word that is used for annoying little boys. I wanted to use the stereotypical image of such a Spitzbube for a Multiplayer Online First-Person Shooter game that tries to ridicule the testesteron-loaded and dark ambience of most of the games in this genre. So I came up with a satirical schoolyard FPS in which you play in the shoes of one such annoying little kid (or should I say premature macho?).

This is how I wrote it:



Oh, how cheerful it was to be a kid, when you put dead spiders into the palms of girls or hid frogs under their skirts. Wasn’t it like being in paradise when you heard them screaming and running away like those stupid geese that they were? And how great it felt to beat up a kid and make him cry. The pleasure you felt when he said “I’m going to call my dad” — Ha haa, you little weakling, go call him *smack smack*!

Now you have the chance to revive and relive those glorious, unforgettable days. Here comes Spitzbube, the FPS schoolyard game!


Spitzbube is a Multiplayer Online First-Person Shooter Game in the settings of a primary school. You play a pupil that during the lesson break engages in fights with other pupils. You try to hurt and annoy your counter-parts until they start to cry and threaten you with calling their fathers. Each session starts with the school bell ringing and ends exactly after 5 minutes, with the teacher coming out of the building and saying: “Ok kids, it’s enough, get inside now.”

The pupil have a variety of “weapons”, all made from ordinary stationary material and equipment. These weapons and their projectiles don’t kill, they only hurt or plain simply annoy. A pupil that runs out of “ammo” will use the classical defensive method of spitting or throwing with snot until he finds a new weapon.

The arenas are the schoolyards of fictional or real primary schools. Ideally the game level provides rich interior and exteriors that pose a variety of tactical and strategical challenges.

A player which takes too much damage during combat will start to whine: “Nooo, ,stop it, stop it! I’m gonna call my dad!” This means defeat. The defeated pupil will respawn at another point of the schoolyard.

The pupil who at the end of the break made the most pupils cry will be the proud winner.

To add some variety and ambience to the game, there will be “stupid” little girls around which will scream and run away when they find themselves inbetween the fighting boys.

One of the puns in the game is the “America’s Army” or “Ronald Reagan” power-up. A player who collects this power-up will enjoy increased accuracy – for limited time though. This is a reference to Ronald Reagan who praised video games for developing the hand-eye coordination of young men, and believed that the U.S.Army should benefit from this.

And Another Piece of Satire

If Super Break-In isn’t really your type of game, then why not trying out Need for Weed: Pot Pursuit?? Actually I liked this one especially for its funny name, but the game itself turned out to be quite serious as I continued to elaborate on its features and gameplay. At the end only the name was what remained to be satirical. Uhm, and the secret levels ;)

Need for Weed: Pot Pursuit




The streets aren’t safe anymore! Rumours say that the Puff Puff Gang with its lethal delivery team is in town to distribute not less than one ton of weed to our innocent teens. The police is alert. They must prevent the distribution of at least half of the stuff or the gang will make enough profit to stay in town.


You are given the task to investigate the activities of the gang and track down its dealers before they can deliver. But beware, the Puff Puff Gang has many friends and it won’t be easy for you to stop them.


Can you prevent the Puff Puff Gang from making a profit and force them to leave town?



Featured Gameplay


  • Gather knowledge about deliveries.

Search the city for pedestrian small-time crooks or members of rival gangs who will tell you the rumours they’ve heard about the Puff Puff deliveries. Chase them with your car into dead-ends where they have no chance to escape so that they share with you what they know. Be sure to confirm the information you gathered through other sources, because some of these guys might lie to you just to make sure that you let them go. Also the gang loves to spread false information about their deliveries. The game will trigger a cutscene if you chased a faked delivery that shows the Puff Puff gang members making jokes about you while they count the money that they earned from the actual delivery.


Drive through the city and discover stores, garages and other places populated by gang members. Follow gang members secretly to find out the places where they hide. Trigger cutscenes in which you enter those buildings and witness gang members talking about deliveries.


Establish a network of spies that you regularly have to pay a few bucks to receive calls from them about deliveries.


Unlock new neighborhoods and secret buildings as you combine your knowledge.


Follow up the map to see where and when deliveries will happen.





  • Survive attacks and keep your car in shape


Gang members will shoot at you from their cars wherever they spot you and chase you until you manage to escape. You must go to the garage to repair or upgrade the damaged protection shield of the car after attacks or your car will become more and more vulnerable until you might die in one of those attacks.


In later parts of the game, in order to get rid of you,  the gang will hire Dark Steel, a famous assassin in the appearance of a huge lethal black truck (inspired by the one in Steven Spielberg’s movie The Duell). Dark Steel will smash your car like a tin can if you can’t escape it, but thanks god it isn’t very good when it has to climb steep hillroads.




  • Engage in Deadly Sprints with Gang Members and Prevent Deliveries


Chase dealers in deadly sprints through the city and prevent them from delivering. Find out how many kilos of the stuff are in the back of the car.




  • Become Famous and Unlock Rewards


Get featured on Journals and Newspapers as you catch gang members.


Unlock new features such as neighborhoods, tracks, vehicles, engine parts and accessories as you grow your reputation.


Strenghten your ride. You’re going to need it!




  • Secret Game Modes(for the sake of controversy)


Push the tab button, enter one of the codewords below and hit enter:


Smashing Pumpkins. Enables you to play as Dark Steel which in return enables you to smash cars, pedestrians or both.


Halluci-nation. If you enter the codeword after you caught a delivery car, a pop-up window asks you if you tried out the stuff you’ve found in the back of the car and when you answer “Yeah” the graphics change and for 15 seconds or so you ride a flying carpet or a Reindeer-phaeton and steer it through the… um, wow, this looks so amazing.

A Piece of Satire

One of my attempts to write a satire piece for the Game Career Guide design challenge addresses the issue that everyone wants to become a game designer. However chances are often said to be minimal, so a “break-in” story is often perceived like an epic tale. Usually you hear such type of break-in or break-out stories only when it comes to mythological tales about “national” heroes that are said to have “molten holes into iron mountains” to free themselves from oppression. I built up onto this notion and made a parody of the breaking into the game design issue by utilizing the famous game Super Breakout.

Before anything else, it was a writing exercise for me, because I am not an native speaker of english, but I’ll be glad if still someone finds it funny. ;) Here you go:


Super Break-In

The not-so-casual game for the casual game design wannabee.



Who says that games cannot create emotions? Now the game industry presents to you a game that speaks right from the bottom of your heart. But wait, don’t break out into tears, break in the game industry! Here comes Super Break-In, the break-into-the-game-industry game.

Finally you get that big chance, but use it wisely! The walls between you and your desired job are thick and bear many unpleasant surprises! Are you skilled enough to put your dream company under siege with your irresistible ideas? Do you have what it takes to tear down the walls that stand between you and the likes of Sid Meier, Will Wright and Peter Molyneux? Find out NOW! With Super Break-In, the break-into-the-game-industry game!


Unique Features

·         Familiar gameplay in a fresh, never-used-before epic story setting

·         Tons of unique power-ups for entertaining and long-lasting gameplay:

o        Networks

o        Schmooze

o        Free GDC cards

o        And many more! 

·         Three difficulty levels

o        Intern (Hard)

o        QA Guy (Very Hard)

o        Elevator Pitcher (Insane)


Super Break-In in the Press

“Believe the hype!” –

Ed Bartlett

“This guy [the designer] should have gotten on the elevator with me!”-

Bing Gordon

“A game worth a thousand FAQs.” –

– Dan Merchant

“Nice.” –

Tom Sloper