Yet Another Satirical Game

One of my ideas that I also personally like a lot is Spitzbube. Spitzbube is a german word that is used for annoying little boys. I wanted to use the stereotypical image of such a Spitzbube for a Multiplayer Online First-Person Shooter game that tries to ridicule the testesteron-loaded and dark ambience of most of the games in this genre. So I came up with a satirical schoolyard FPS in which you play in the shoes of one such annoying little kid (or should I say premature macho?).

This is how I wrote it:



Oh, how cheerful it was to be a kid, when you put dead spiders into the palms of girls or hid frogs under their skirts. Wasn’t it like being in paradise when you heard them screaming and running away like those stupid geese that they were? And how great it felt to beat up a kid and make him cry. The pleasure you felt when he said “I’m going to call my dad” — Ha haa, you little weakling, go call him *smack smack*!

Now you have the chance to revive and relive those glorious, unforgettable days. Here comes Spitzbube, the FPS schoolyard game!


Spitzbube is a Multiplayer Online First-Person Shooter Game in the settings of a primary school. You play a pupil that during the lesson break engages in fights with other pupils. You try to hurt and annoy your counter-parts until they start to cry and threaten you with calling their fathers. Each session starts with the school bell ringing and ends exactly after 5 minutes, with the teacher coming out of the building and saying: “Ok kids, it’s enough, get inside now.”

The pupil have a variety of “weapons”, all made from ordinary stationary material and equipment. These weapons and their projectiles don’t kill, they only hurt or plain simply annoy. A pupil that runs out of “ammo” will use the classical defensive method of spitting or throwing with snot until he finds a new weapon.

The arenas are the schoolyards of fictional or real primary schools. Ideally the game level provides rich interior and exteriors that pose a variety of tactical and strategical challenges.

A player which takes too much damage during combat will start to whine: “Nooo, ,stop it, stop it! I’m gonna call my dad!” This means defeat. The defeated pupil will respawn at another point of the schoolyard.

The pupil who at the end of the break made the most pupils cry will be the proud winner.

To add some variety and ambience to the game, there will be “stupid” little girls around which will scream and run away when they find themselves inbetween the fighting boys.

One of the puns in the game is the “America’s Army” or “Ronald Reagan” power-up. A player who collects this power-up will enjoy increased accuracy – for limited time though. This is a reference to Ronald Reagan who praised video games for developing the hand-eye coordination of young men, and believed that the U.S.Army should benefit from this.